My 3-Year-Old Son Used the “F” Word

The word is probably not what you are thinking, but nonetheless, it appalled me. Where did he learn to use the word “fat?”

I was watching a Discovery Health show about a 600-pound mom while my son was playing in the floor. He looked up at the television and said, “Wow. She’s really big. She’s fat.” Aack. My first reaction was to tell him, “Yes, she is big, but it’s not nice to say that someone is ‘fat’. It can hurt their feelings.”

I had been so very careful when raising my older daughter to never use that word when referring to anyone, and I scolded family members who did use the word in front of her. I never wanted her to judge anyone by their appearance or worry that someone may use that word to describe her appearance. People rarely use that word to describe someone they like, so it is not a word in our vocabulary.

So have I become more lax? Do I need to reinforce my expectations with caregivers and family who are with my kids? I was not ready to have this conversation with my son, but I guess it could have been worse.

My inquisitive boy began to ask more questions. “How did she get like that?”

“She ate too much food, and food that was not healthy for her,” I replied.

Then I was able to turn it into a conversation about what is healthy food.

“What types of food are good for you?” He said he thought Craisins, milk and nuts were good for him.

“What are types of bad food?” He said pizza and candy. Then he sat there a minute and asked, “Then why do you let me eat pizza?” Great, he turned it around on me.

“Well, I don’t let you eat pizza all the time, and I don’t let you eat a lot of it.” Thank goodness that was the end of the talk, but I know it will come up again. In fact, this morning he informed me that his current cereal of choice was not healthy. I have decided not to share it because I don’t know if I want anyone to know that I purchased it.

In the end, I am still sad that he learned what the word means and felt the need to use it. The good news, however, is that this was one more opportunity for us to talk about healthy eating, and I’m proud that my preschooler is thinking about it. I praise God every day that I was blessed with good eaters and we have no food allergies in my house. I also praise God that I am able to set good examples for them and provide the food they need.

But my mission is now to find the culprit who taught him that awful 3-letter word and give them a lecture about loving others and themselves.

What Does Healthy Look Like?

Today was the moment of truth. I gave myself until the end of the month to be able to complete 25 real push-ups simultaneously, AND I DID IT! My arms felt like they were going to fall off, but I did it, and I am so proud of myself. I am now wondering what my next little fitness goal should be – run the distance between the house and bus stop and back in under 8 minutes, or run two miles on the treadmill in 20 minutes or less. Honestly, I need to work on my flexibility – I’ve never been very flexible, and it seems to be getting worse as I age. So maybe I will try to fit yoga into my routine a couple days a week so I can touch my knees with my forehead.

This entire period of goal setting and exercising with the kids encouraged me to pose this question: What does “HEALTHY” look like? I know that I am medically “defined” as being overweight – 10 pounds shy of being at the high end of an optimum BMI – but does that mean that I am unhealthy? I am hoping not.

Instead of going by physical aptitude, physicians’ tests, and the like, most people today tend to dole out the “healthy” adjective to those that look a certain way. She will hate me for doing this, but the photo is of my little sister two years ago when she was competing in a Natural Physique Council bikini contest. Yep, she looks healthy to me! I could be envious and say that I was duped out of getting those good genes, but I know she worked really hard to look that way. She also has a degree in health and fitness and is a certified personal trainer. The interesting thing about her journey to that awesome body is that she said she would never tell a client to eat the way she did for good health. Food choices are very limited. She ate plenty, but her diet was not varied at all. And you should see what all the competitors ate the day of the competition…SUGAR, SUGAR, and more SUGAR.

It was not that long ago – it must have been before the rise of the supermodel – when somebody was referred to as “healthy” it meant they had some meat and fluff on their bones. Parents were worried if their kids were getting enough to eat, and having a little extra in the middle and on their cheeks was a sign of getting plenty. But where is the line between healthy and unhealthy? Can we really tell by “looking at a person?”

I try to remind myself on a regular basis when talking with my child that I need to focus on fitness and quality of diet - not what they look like or the numbers on the scale - but it has been a real struggle for me worrying about how they will be perceived by others.

I was shocked at my kid’s last checkup when my pediatrician called attention to my 3-year-old son’s numbers – he is in the 75th percentile for height and 85th for weight. “I don’t really worry about those things at this age, but we may look at it in the future,” she said. Really? LOOK AT HIM! He is solid as a rock and extremely healthy! So now I’m thinking all this number business needs to be thrown out the window as well. BMI, ideal weight, muscle mass, body fat percentage, waist to hip ratio? What is the real determination of “healthy?” We are unique individuals, and what is healthy for one, may not be healthy for another.

When I was in high school (late 80s/early 90s), I remember hearing a commercial on the radio for a weight loss product while I was riding with other students to a Quick Recall meet. The commercial was a conversation between two teenage girls who were making fun of another girl who weighed 150 pounds. I remember feeling like a complete loser, because I weighed about 160 at the time. “Do they think I weigh that much,” I fretted? “I’ll just have to lie if someone asks me how much I weigh.” And thus the reason why most men think any woman, who is “trim,” no matter how tall she is, weighs 120 pounds or less. WE’VE BEEN LIEING ABOUT OUR WEIGHTS FOR YEARS! I would be thrilled to be 150, or even 160 again, and I know I would look pretty darn good!

I always find myself comparing myself to the Biggest Loser contestants. "I weigh that much, and look nothing like that." "They must be much shorter than I am." "Honey, do I look like that?" Finally, I told myself to get over it. We have a wide-screen TV.

My new philosophy is that “healthy” is a feeling, and right now I’m feeling pretty healthy. Will it make me live longer? I don’t know, but at least I’ll be happier than if I was constantly worrying if my dress or pant size makes me an adequate human being. I hope to instill this in my kids as well.

First Inspiration

While I am not at all a fan of politics or expressing which party I hang my hat, I am a fan of the First Lady’s efforts to improve the health of this country. In fact she has inspired me to do two things:

1) Push-ups

I did not see the show, but I saw the coverage of the push-up contest between Ellen DeGeneres and Mrs. Obama. Michelle was able to complete 25 push-ups – real ones – live on the show. I can do 25 sissy push-ups fairly easily, but I admit I have not attempted many of the other lately. I worked on it in my college days, and I think I got up to about 10. The challenge is ON for me to get to 25. After about a week of working, I can do 15 (some of the time). I hope to be at my goal by the end of the month. I also expect to keep it up throughout my life. I just hate hearing my back crack and pop at every attempt. I am sure it will get better, though.



2) Scheduling Joint Exercise Times with the Kids

I finally came to the realization that if I want my children to exercise regularly, I am going to have to do it with them. If I’m stuck in my office working, they aren’t going to be beating down my door wanting to run and play; they sit and play in front of the TV. This week we came up with a regular exercise routine and will also schedule time for “fun” activity several days a week. Our goal is to complete 300 jumping jacks, 30 squats, 30 push-ups (girly-ones count for now) and 30 sit-ups before the end of the day. We have also been working on completing the half-mile round trip between our home and the stop sign down the road. The hills make it quite a bit of a challenge. Playing tag, jumping rope, and riding the horses have also made the list of things to do more often. Unfortunately, my schedule and rising gas prices are going to make getting involved in organized sports somewhat difficult, so we will be happy with activities we can all enjoy.

I am looking forward to these challenges, and making plans is something my daughter enjoys (must be those engineer genes my husband gave her). If we stick with it, I definitely expect a healthier and happier family on the horizon.

Don't Get Frustrated, Get Creative!

It doesn't happen all that often, but my now three-year-old threw a fit this evening because he did not want to eat his dinner. Even though I have fixed taco salad many times before, and he has been more than happy to eat, this time he decided that he did not like the way it looked.

He thought he could get away with just hoarding some corn chips, but I quickly told him that he was not going to eat chips alone. The whining and crying was getting him nowhere, and I finally told him that if he was going to continue, he was not going to sit at the dinner table. The rest of us needed to eat in peace.

After I finished my dinner, I put my thinking cap on and tried something else: a deconstructed taco salad.

Do you want a little bit of cheese? Open up like a little birdy. Down went some cheese.

How about some lettuce? He thought eating big pieces of lettuce was really fun.

Now what about some hamburger? It was turkey burger with black beans, but he was happy with "hamburger." He ate several bites.

I rewarded him with an apple cut up in slices (he never refuses fruit). And then he asked for a couple chips with salsa.

So even though he did not eat taco salad, his belly had taco salad, the dinner that I made for everyone.

Yay, me! Good boy, Lane.

Sugar in the Landfills

Since it is Halloween, I am going to refrain from preaching about giving kids too much candy today. I do allow my kids to go trick or treating, and they are allowed to eat a few pieces of their treasured loot (after I go through it to find the good stuff, that is). But in about a month I am sure I will be tossing about three quarters of their candy in the trash. Not because I am that mean mommy all the time, but thankfully because they forget about it.

At our house, Halloween is all about the costumes and making a show for all to see. Since we do not live in a great “trick or treating” neighborhood, we travel to Nana’s each year where there are more people to impress. And when Eden dresses up, she plays the part. Since she is a peacock this year, I am sure she will be making that awful peacock cry and fanning her tail. Little Lane will be happy just walking around and seeing everyone.

When the candy comes home, there are rules attached. Eden has been my daughter long enough that she knows to ask before getting into her bucket. I let her have a piece or two of candy a day, usually after she has had something good to eat. After the fourth day, she quits asking, and it just sits on top of the refrigerator. Daddy will go through and find the things he likes – anything made out of chocolate. I am bit pickier; it has to have both chocolate and caramel (I’m so glad that candy costs more and people are less likely to buy it to give out).

So now I am wondering if my family is atypical, or if most families end up tossing a lot of the candy in the trash. I’m also wondering if we should be doing something different these days if our candy money is wasted. Should we be giving quarters to every great costume that comes knocking on our door? I think Unicef used to give kids boxes in order to collect donations during Halloween, but I have not seen that lately. Could we be collecting for local children in need to good food? It would take a great deal of effort to change the tradition, but I am all for it. Now who’s with me? Mars and Hersey’s, please don’t send me any hate mail!

Food Day & Learning to Say “NO”

While I appreciate the efforts of FOOD DAY organizers, I have a few issues and will attempt to address them in time. (Initially I wanted to tackle one each day this week, but I am a busy mom.)

Food Day Principle #5 - Promote health by curbing junk-food marketing aimed at kids

Food, Mommy Principle #1 - Promote health by providing your kids better food choices and teach them to say "No" to poor food choices

I think it is very ironic that everyone is pointing their fingers at “junk-food” producers and marketers for making our kids fat, when they don’t have any real buying power. Who buys it for them? WE DO!

“No” may be the most important word you ever teach your child. My kids hear it at least 50 times a day, and at least half of those “no’s” are aimed at their food choices.

“Mommy, can I pick a cereal that I want?” And I say, “No, we are not going to get a cereal with that much sugar.”

“Mommy, can I have some ice cream?” Me, “What did you eat today at Nana’s house?” Kid, “Well, we had pancakes for breakfast, macaroni and cheese and a popsicle at lunch.” Me, “No, not today. If we make better food choices tomorrow, then I will consider letting you have some ice cream.”

“Mommy, I’m starving. Can we go by McDonald’s or Taco Bell.” Me, “No, I have something to cook for dinner. Eat an apple when we get home.”

As marketing tactics become increasingly aggressive, we the adults need to put on our fighting gear and quit asking the government to step in or stop filing silly lawsuits against the best food marketers. Slick advertising does not make our kids fat. They may ask for it, but adults are giving in. I will even be so bold to say that parents are worse than the marketers. We get lazy or blame the fact that we just don’t have time to do better.

On more occasions than I can count in the last few months, I have seen adults making very poor food choices for our children. Pizza, hot dogs and sodas were the main fare at a juvenile diabetes research fund raising walk this weekend. Every time my child is sent home with a fundraising form, it is for selling doughnuts or treats or cookie dough. Upcomoing Halloween and fall festivals will be filled with bags of candy and food our kids just do not need. How often do our kids have an extra-curricular activity and pizza, cookies, cupcakes, sodas and sugar-filled drinks aren’t on the menu? The kids aren’t shelling out the cash for these things, and I bet they aren’t even asking for it. We just assume that is what they want to eat and we provide it for them.

I am not opposed to pizza and treats on occassion, but let’s get off our duffs and show our kids that we care about their health. Just say, “NO,” and give them a good meal for a change.

In Search of the Best Broccoli Soup

I love soup. Beyond chili and my grandfather's cabbage soup (a recipe I may share soon), broccoli soup is one my top food pleasures. My children love it as well, and it is usually ordered at most any restaurant that has it on their menu. But I would love to find that perfect recipe so we can enjoy broccoli soup at home.

I have tried a couple recipes over the last year without much luck. I came close last night with this recipe I found on Food.com - http://www.food.com/recipe/panera-broccoli-cheese-soup-150384 - which claims to be what Panera Bread serves. Since we are huge fans of Panera Bread, we thought we would give it a try.

I call this our "hurry up and take the picture so I can eat" broccoli soup!

It was pretty delicious, but I think improving some of my stovetop handiwork may make it better. Since the broccoli was still pretty crisp, I may consider cooking it a little longer. I think I will also omit the nutmeg in the future. Leaving out the floor dirt may also be a good idea. I let my daughter chop up the broccoli and carrots, and she then called her little brother over to help. After he took a few cranks on the rotary chopper, he thought it would be a good idea to dump the broccoli all over the floor. It had to be saved! All in all, we were pretty happy with the result, and every bowl was licked clean. But still I would give it an only an 8.

If you have a favorite broccoli soup recipe for my family to try, please send it my way. The search is still on. I may also be in need of a few soup cooking tips.

You can follow me on Facebook at www.facebook.com/foodmommy or on Twitter at www.twitter.com/foodmommy.

Eating by Example

When you are a parent, even the smallest milestones make you jump for joy. My most recent jubilation came this past Sunday night; my 2-year-old son ate an entire piece of raw broccoli. What was even more amazing was that I did not even offer it to him. He just took it off of my salad plate and in his mouth it went. I told him that I was so very proud of him and gave him a big hug.

My daughter sat their staring at me wondering why I didn’t give her the same hug, but she has always been a great vegetable connoisseur. I do try to tell her on a regular basis however that I am so happy that she enjoys nutritious food.

My son, on the other hand, has been a bit pickier about his food choices. I was beginning to think that I had done something differently in raising this child since anything green usually hit the floor. I had resorted to “hiding” vegetables in his food. And since I discovered that he is very fond of “salads,” which I am sure is mostly due to the fact there is some kind of dressing masking the taste, I started sharing my salads with him on a regular basis, and he was none the wiser of me including bell peppers and onions in his bites. I also make a chopped broccoli salad quite often that includes many of his other favorites like Craisins, cheese and nuts. And the last few times we have had asparagus, I asked him if he wanted to eat a little tree, and he replied, “Roarrrrr. I eat like a dinosaur.” He did take a couple bites. And carrots and sweet potatoes have also become a few of his more recent favorites.

While these new eating habits did not occur overnight, I am now a true believer that we must show our kids how to eat properly by example. A dose of patience also goes a long way. Now that I feel that I have a true success story, here are a few of my tips to help you steer your kids to eating a larger variety of nutritious foods:

1 – Do not get into the habit of cooking your kids separate meals, especially at dinner time. It’s hard on you and sets your kids up to think they can always eat exactly what they want. And make sure to put a little of everything on their plates.

2 – Do not force your kids to try something new, but bribery works pretty well. Tell your kids they can eat something you know they like if they try what is on their plate. I always try to hold back the bread until after they have eaten an ample supply of veggies.

3 – Dramatize! It may sound silly, but if you make a big deal about how good the vegetables are, they might eventually want try it on their own to satisfy their curiosity.

4 – Get your kids involved in selecting things at the grocery or market. My daughter loves getting her own grocery cart and filling it with all of the fruits and vegetables, especially if she knows she will be eating it later. She is also pretty good at selecting the produce on her own. Nothing makes her more proud then to hear another customer compliment her on her choices. To get my toddler son involved, I make sure to have a conversation with him about all of the different things we buy.

One of the biggest failures I have seen with parents/caregivers is that they think kids won’t like certain foods because they are kids. I have also seen parents/caregivers give up too easily and resort to not-so-healthy choices so the kids have something to eat. But be persistent. If they see you eating and enjoying healthy food choices and also providing good choices, maybe they will learn to love good food as well.

More for Your Food Dollar: Low-Calorie Juices

Tonight’s trip to the grocery store inspired this latest segment, which I will try to provide regularly.

Our favorite style of orange juice was missing due, so I decided to try the 50% less sugar version since it was on sale. Not only did the certain brand claim less sugar and calories, but no added artificial sweeteners. It sounded great, but the taste was not.

I started to think about it a bit, read the back, and wondered why I was so stupid to buy juice that was just watered down. Eureka, it does not take a genius a figure out they are getting more money out of us by providing us less and playing to our health-consciousness. I also wondered why I thought this juice was different since I knew exactly that is what another company did to make a “tots” version of apple juice.

I have been cutting fruit juices with water for years for my kids, especially for my toddler, to do just what they are offering – reducing the sugar and calories.

So the moral of the story is, never pay for low calorie juices. Add water to the good stuff and get twice as much for the same money.